It’s been a while since I wrote anything about our adoption journey. Maybe you’ve wondered where we were at since I wrote my first post.
Well, when God places a burden on your heart it doesn’t just go away. Life happened and things got busy. There were days I tried to ignore the topic, and my husband would say things like “so, where are we at with this?” Some days it is a very present reality and exciting dream, other days it’s a daunting task and terrifying endeavor. But it’s always there. A burning desire and a heart cry.
We began praying many years ago about what our role in orphan care would look like. In many ways, we are still praying the same thing. We’ve taken the initial steps and training to be certified for adoption and/or foster care through Bethany Christian Services, but are still waiting on a specific direction to go in.
Here’s what we do know:
We’re all called to care for orphans. It may look different for each of us, but we all need to do our part.
God began working on both mine and my husband’s hearts toward adoption, before either of us had even talked about it. We began comparing notes and realized we were on the same page…. isn’t it amazing when it works out like that?! Whew.
I get really excited when I hear other people talk of being at this same place in life. You know, the place where you feel God leading you somewhere, and you have no idea where but you’re just willing. I hope to always be open and willing to go where God leads. And sometimes that’s the hardest step to take. To say, I don’t have a plan here, Lord, what do you want us to do?
It’s been humbling and scary at times to share with people that we have hearts for adoption, but really no idea what that plan is. We simply share “we don’t know where God is going to take this, but we’re stepping out on faith.”
We’ve been met with all different kinds of responses. We’ve heard amazing stories and horror stories. We’ve heard stories of adoption painted in a beautiful light and sometimes gut wrenching and scary.
The bottom line is this: if our hearts are burdened with love for a child that has suffered loss or abuse, and our desire is to be obedient to the calling we’ve felt, then we have to be ready for heartache and for things not always going smooth. Adoption is not always pretty.
Many people have spoken up and shared reasons with us not to adopt because of the things that could go wrong. I’m saying to them, we know things will go wrong. But you know what? Things have and could go wrong with my own biological kids too. Those things are out of my control.
Some of the major hurdles I’ve had to overcome in my own mind, are the assumptions I assume people will make about us.
- If we adopt a child from another country, will we be judged for not adopting domestically?
- If we adopt a child of another race will be compared to Angelina Jolie and have people assume we were out to “collect” kids for fun?
- If we adopt an African American child, will the African American community frown on us?
- If we adopt an African American child, will we face racism and prejudice remarks from our own family members?
- If we adopt domestically, will be judged for not adopting internationally?
- Will our adopted child be accepted and welcomed into our family and circle of friends, or treated like an outsider?
- Since we already have 3 biological kids, will we be looked down on for adopting a 4th child?
These may sound like stupid questions, but they are legitimate fears I have. I hate knowing when people disprove of what I’m doing and even more so, I hate when people make unfair assumptions about me.
Regardless of what people think, I know that we are motivated by love and a desire to do what is right. We have no specific preference for race, gender, nationality, health or chromosome count – we just want to love on a child in need. We think we’ve got extra love to spare, and we we’re willing.
Here is something else I’ve realized:
Everyone is called to care for orphans. Not everyone is called to adopt. If you’re someone who does not feel called to adopt, you can still care for orphans!
I’ve really struggled with the thought of raising support for our adoption or asking for money in anyway. Until I realized, there are people out there that want to give towards orphan care but don’t feel called to adopt. If we step back and expand the term “orphan” to include kids in single parent homes or kids with unstable home situations, there are lots of ways to get involved, even if you don’t feel called to adopt:
- Support other families that are adopting by coming along side them in prayer, encouraging words and any other assistance they may need.
- Support other families that are adopting by helping with their financial needs.
- Get involved in the life of a child that has absent parents. It could be for many reasons. Maybe the parents both work full-time and could use extra help. Maybe there is only one parent in the home that works full-time and the other parent is never present.
- Sponsor a child through a ministry like Compassion International.
- Are you in a position where you regularly come in contact with kids? Show them love and be a good role model.
- Become a foster parent.
- Look into providing a temporary safe home for kids.
And now, here’s how you can help us!!!!
Every purchase made in our store will go towards the Lemp Orphan Care Fund. We will be using this money to continue our own adoption efforts as well as other orphan care opportunities we’re personally connected with.
You can also make separate donations if you feel led to give outside of a purchase.
You can start by visiting the shop!
Erin Port
I am the crazy person leaving a comment in every post as I catch up but it is as if you took my thoughts and penned them to paper. I have all those fears but yet I still hear the call and I know god will be faithful as he has been to you!!!!!
Lisa H.
I love your heart and honesty. My husband and I have been in orphan care ministry for the past 12 years. We have 4 biological children and one adopted internationally at the age of 15. My husband works for the Christian Alliance for Orphans which is an alliance of almost 200 orphan care ministries. What you said in your post is something we say all the time, “Not everyone is called to adopt or foster, but we are all called by God to do something to care for orphans and vulnerable children.” Thank you for sharing your testimony and your journey. The road is certainly not easy, but it is worth it. If you want a great opportunity to see how God is moving all over the world in the realm of Orphan care and to learn more from lots of experts, visit cafo.org to find out more about our annual Summit that happens the first week of May every year. This year it is being held in Nashville. Blessings to you and your family!
truthsofablessedlife
Hi Sarah! I am always so happy when I run across blogs of other adoptive families! I ran into your blog by looking for shiplap ideas for a bedroom – a bedroom I am redoing for our adopted child! We are in the process of adopting from South Africa, and after a process of just over 3 years so far, we hope to bring our child home in the next few months! I know there are so many questions/uncertainties in the world of adoption. I want to encourage you in that those uncertainties are such an amazing way for us to trust the Lord and His plan! If I’ve learned anything through this process, it’s that adoption is not about me and my desires, not about what others think, or about the discomfort I will feel along the way. It’s a horizontal reflection of the vertical reality of what He has done for us through Jesus. Move forward in what you and your family are called to do, regardless of what the world will say. It’s so hard, but adoption is such a beautiful thing and shines a light on the Most High!! Wishing you and your family the best as you move forward! I’d love to connect more if you’d like! Take care and God bless! And you have a beautiful family – so far! ;-)
Cathy Marquardt
Beautifully written…so honest! I love your suggestions!!! Prayers for you & your family on this journey!
Kimberly Davis
We currently have 2 families in our church in the process of adopting from Uganda! Our pastor and his wife have 3 biological kids and they adopted from Ethiopia almost 4 years ago. We, personally, have not been led to adopt, but have been blessed to be able to help our friends financially. It is truly a blessing! Follow where God is leading you and don’t worry about the rest. He is sufficient!